Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize