He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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