how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
