Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize