I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
