I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
