Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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