i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Text me some of your sweat
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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