So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
