Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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