glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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