he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
