Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
