i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
