i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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