Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
