Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
