she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
