my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I currently don't understand fingers.
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