I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Green mimosas i think yes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
