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• (517): View more from Michigan

  6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.

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• (619): View more from California

  Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.

  (1-619): View more from California

  i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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• (817): View more from Texas

  there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...

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• (631): View more from New York

  im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tequila happens.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I peed in front of kids, unfortunately

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.

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• (562): View more from California

  Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.

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