Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
