it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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