I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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