i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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