So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
