The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
