She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
