At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize