no. you can't hotbox the world.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
