So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
