I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
