For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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