Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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