I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
