i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
