grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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