Your face is a jimmy john
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize