I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
