It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
