So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
