I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
