i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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