Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
