Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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