You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
