so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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