Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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