I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
