That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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