She announced her abortion via fbk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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