She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
