I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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