a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My life is pants optional.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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