Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
