Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think my moral compass just broke
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