i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
